Emotional withholding is the use of emotional withdrawal — the silent treatment, the withdrawal of warmth, the calculated absence of affirmation — as a means of control or punishment. It doesn't leave marks. It's difficult to name or describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. The effect is the creation of chronic uncertainty about whether you are safe, loved, or the problem.

Anonymous thoughts about emotional withholding posted here are from people who have lived inside it — the honest account of what it's like to have love used as something that can be turned on and off.